10 years… and I’m not done yet
10 years ago yesterday, I sat down with a notebook and a phone.
I spoke to a man called Matt.
In exchange for that call (slightly after it, as I remember), he paid me £30.
Well, actually he paid me £180 for six of those calls.
That was the first time that anyone paid me to do this thing, coaching, which became the centre-piece of my professional life over the last decade.
10 years.
10 years of these strange conversations that shift people’s lives, sometimes feeling like this one meeting has changed their life forever.
10 years of subject-object moves, where people leave the call (or meeting) seeing something they had never seen before.
10 years of tapping into work that really matters.
10 years of helping people find more meaningful productivity in their life.
10 years of these weird conversations that create the conditions for magic to happen.
You can’t really describe coaching; that’s why all the best coaches give people an experience of what it’s like first, so you can feel it.
It doesn’t make sense: you just get listened to really well, have someone ask you some questions and then… you leave with the whole world feeling different. Lighter. More skilful. More clear. More capable.
These days, I would probably say: more fit for the complexity of today’s world.
10 years.
421 people coached.
2,418 coaching sessions.
Countless workshops.
Two podcasts with over 100 episodes.
Four books and hundreds of blog posts. (Oh, and there’s another book coming this year - make sure you’re on my mailing list to be the first to hear.)
Absurd little stories, like when I bumped into a woman that had once sold my friend a sofa… and her boss ended up giving me thousands of pounds of work over the next year.
Incredible little stories, like when I nearly didn’t meet a client because I was so sure they weren’t going to be able to afford my fee… and then they were the first (and I think still only) person to sign up to a 12-month engagement after just one conversation.
The most beautiful, meaningful stories: like when I showed up for a call, inspired by Fred Kofman, and spoke to the client as though it was the last time we would ever speak. And it was beautiful.
Ripples of influence: written in testimonials that I can never really feel in my heart; seen in blog posts and books that offer credit to me and my work.
Seen in all the relationships - with partners, children and more - that are now just a few percent more full of love.
Seen in the projects that are now out in the world… that I can never quite take credit for, but that I know deep down are partly about me and my contribution.
10 years.
Many days when I wished I had done something different, chosen an easier path.
Many days when I wish I made just a little more money to take away another problem I or my family is facing.
Until I remember that, yes. I could have stayed and lived as a leader in the arts; I could have played safe.
But in the end, the journeys brought joys that outweighed the pain.
Many days when I curse the adventure; when my heart feels strained or broken.
Many days when I wish for security, for safety, for some sense of refuge and relief.
Until I remember: the secure way is really the insecure way; and the insecure way is really the secure way.
And this: this is the secure way.
The adventure.
The path that pulls and forces and invites and tempts us to grow into something more.
Into destiny.
10 years.
5 years since 5 years.
New things learned, but also the same key lessons.
Remember courage.
Remember you can choose.
10 years.
A scarcely believable amount of time to be doing this work, which at one time seemed an impossibility.
Which at one time it seemed scarcely credible that someone would pay me £30 for.
And I’m not done yet.
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This is the latest in a series of articles written using the 12-Minute Method: write for twelve minutes, proof read once with tiny edits and then post online.