It's Time For You To Die

First published on October 5, 2018

It's time for you to die. Right now. Take a chance - in this moment - that I am right, and your world can change forever.

I don't mean literally die, of course. Although, for countless people across the world, in this second it is their time. And one day, it will be yours. That, truly and deeply, is the only certainty of life. You will live and you will die.

So take a chance, now, to die before you die. To free yourself from the ties that bind you - mostly falsely, in the modern world - to free yourself from fear of death. It is a deep fear, and a human fear. Facing death, in those moments where we have to, is terrifying. I'm lucky enough never to have literally faced my own death, but I have witnessed others facing their death. And I have felt the waves of tragedy or potential tragedy near me.

And this fear of death, it stops you living. As William Wallace says, in the movie Braveheart, "Every man dies. Not every man lives."

Come with me now, to a place you may not be comfortable, to die before you die. And in doing that, to be freed to live the life deep within you. The kind of life you admire in others, the kind of life that your Higher Self is being called to live.

David Treleaven speaks of working with clients, to make them a commitment to this life, the life deep within them. He asks them the question. Something like, 'At your end of your life, what would make you sad? What things that you would have done, or not done?' He then guides them to living as a commitment to the alternatives to these things, to the things that matter deeply to them. The kind of things that perhaps only in facing death will you to be brave enough to regret.

Fred Kofman tells a story in his workshops: what would happen if you only had three minutes to live? What would you do? Who would you call? He then says, 'Well what is stopping you?' When you only have three minutes to live - and at some point in your life, you will only have three minutes to live, even if you don't know it in that moment - you may not be able to do that thing, or to call that person. So call them now. He says, in the break following this part of his workshops, he sees people on the phone, having deeply meaningful conversations. Conversations that may change them and the people they are speaking with forever.

Fred also talks about bringing people, deeply, into dying before they die. He explains the exercise in his truly brilliant book, The Meaning Revolution: The Power of Transcendent Leadership. First, imagine you have lived a long and rich life, and your friends hold you a living funeral for and with you when you find out you are going to die. In the ceremony, a dear friend will speak a eulogy. Write the eulogy you would want your friend to give. Don't be humble, be true. He then takes them to a darker place: a place where we may not be as comfortable to go. Imagine you have just died, with no chance to make any changes in your life. Then answer these questions, in the third person: the devil's advocate or regretful friend, speaking after your death. What dreams did X not pursue? What fears did X not overcome? What loves did X not express? What resentments did X not resolve? What apologies did X not make? What gifts did X not give?

These are the questions for you to answer today, if you want your life to change.

These, and what, if you came to the end of your life, would make you sad? What, then are you a commitment to?

These, and, if you only had three minutes to live - right now - what would you do, who would you call? Then do it. Then call them.

Today, again following Fred's leadership, I entered my coaching call with the intention: serve my client like it's the last day of my life and the last conversation I'll ever have.My normal intention is 'serve powerfully', and it leads me to doing great work. But this conversation was different. It was deeper. I didn't hold back, I didn't make nice or be polite for its own sake, just when it was natural. I caught myself when I hesitated, and I spoke from a deeper, more truthful place in me. It has reinvigorated my work with this client.

So ask yourself the questions. They may be uncomfortable. They may be full of fear. They should be. I am asking you to face death. But you can do it. Because you are brave.

Come die with me, today.

Then come live with me, tomorrow.