Remember Rule Number Six
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Some books are better than others.
One of those books is The Art of Possibility by Ben and Ros Zander.
I read it at just the right time: just as I was becoming aware that we can choose how we look at the world, and the choices we make can make a HUGE difference. (My mindset was becoming ‘an object’ to me, where before I had been subject to it).
And so The Art of Possibility not only re-emphasised that choosing a mindset was possible, but gave me powerful new mindsets to choose, based on the beautiful book the Zanders had written.
I’ve written extensively about some of their ideas - It’s All Invented and Giving An A - elsewhere (and look out for my new book, due out in a few months, for more on those).
But my favourite story from their book, my favourite mindset that we can choose, and the part of that book that I still talk about regularly with leaders I coach, is neither of those ideas.
Instead, it is this story:
The President of one country and the Prime Minister of another country are in the President’s office, discussing important matters of state.
Midway through their conversation, one of the President’s staff bursts in. He is angry, and walks up to the President complaining vociferously about what the opposition have just done. In a gross breach of protocol, he doesn’t even acknowledge the Prime Minister. He just swears profusely and complains to the President.
Until, that is, the President raises his hand to stop the man in his tracks and says, gently, ‘Steve, remember Rule Number Six.’
Steve stops right away. He snorts with laughter, smiles to himself, notices the Prime Minister and apoligises to both of them. But, interestingly, he doesn’t seem mortified that he breached protocol. He just apologises and leaves the room.
The President and Prime Minister go back to their discussion until a woman bursts in, another of the President’s staff. Like the man, she is upset and agitated. This time it is the media that have caused a crisis, and, just like with the man, she ignores the Prime Minister, going straight to the President, red in the face, effing and blinding.
Until The President interrupts her gently, saying, ‘Maria, remember Rule Number Six.’
Again, she stops, smiles, laughs to herself, apologises to the Prime Minister and the President and leaves.
Of course, like you, the Prime Minister is amazed.
He turns to the President and says, ‘Mr President, I have to say that is amazing. I’ve never seen anyone calm their staff so quickly and effectively. I have to ask: what is Rule Number Six?’
‘Ah,’ says the President, smiling. ‘Rule Number Six is: don’t take yourself so God damned seriously.’
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What I have found in telling my clients this story over many years is that it really does have that effect on people. They tend to laugh at the story, laugh at themselves and shift out of the intense, scarcity-focused mindset they found themselves in (usually about someone else in their life).
The first client I had who wrote ‘Remember Rule Number Six’ on a post-it note and stuck it to their desk was doing that to keep herself patient when her junior colleagues bothered her with absurd questions that they really should know the answer to by now.
But she wasn’t the last to write it on a Post-It. It’s probably the most Post-Ited thing from the last 10 years of my coaching.
We evolved for simpler times, and often we get caught by the complexity of the world.
One of the signs that we are in a state where we can learn and grow and become better able to cope with the complexity we face is that we are able to laugh at ourselves and our situation.
Rule Number Six has magical powers to shift us into a state where we can see things more clearly, with more possibility and more creativity.
From there we can often see through our problems. Sometimes they don’t even seem like problems any more.
So: remember Rule Number Six.
(This is the way I like to tell the story, you can watch Ben Zander’s version here.)
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PS DON’T MISS: How to Be More Skilful With People Without Compromising Who You Are - my new long-read article in the Leading With Honour series. In it, you’ll learn:
Tools and frameworks that will make your hardest conversations run FAR more smoothly.
Mindsets and mental models that will shift how other people behave simply by shifting how YOU behave.
Which book TWO of the world’s leading behavioural scientists have recommended in events I’ve been at… plus I’ll even summarise that book in three sentences!
Read How to Be More Skilful With People Without Compromising Who You Are here
PPS I’ve got some exciting Meaningful Productivity news coming soon - a chance to join me live this autumn. More details coming in a few weeks! Sign up to my mailing list to be the first to hear.
This is the latest in a series of articles written using the 12-Minute Method: write for twelve minutes, proof read once with tiny edits and then post online.